‘Nobody really talks about their service, but people often talk about their experience of transition; of isolation or feeling like you don t quite fit anywhere anymore. All these feelings are really, really common,’ Bek says.
For veterans leaving the Defence Force, that sense of disconnection is common. But for Bek and Vashti, Soldier On provided a space where understanding, support and friendship could flourish.
Creating community
Vashti, who started her Army Reserve career at 17, remembers her initial hesitation to reach out to the veteran community clearly.
‘I felt really out of place. Huge imposter syndrome! Because I’d only served for a brief amount of time decades ago as a reservist. I didn’t feel like a veteran,’ she says.
But when she was encouraged to attend some Soldier On activities, Vashti discovered a community that welcomed her. Her first encounter with Bek came at a Vietnamese cooking class.
‘We get along straight away. She was super friendly, super outgoing, just lovely. And we exchanged numbers at the end,’ Vashti says.
Bek, a nurse who joined the Air Force in 2003 and served in Australia and overseas, also understands the challenges of leaving military life firsthand.
‘It was quite a journey for me to actually transition out of the Defence Force and into civilian life,’ she says.
Shared understanding
Soldier On offered her the chance to reconnect with peers who truly understood those experiences.
‘Sitting around with other veterans and hearing other people’s stories made me feel really like I had a place again,’ Bek says. ‘This isn’t about hearing people’s worst trauma but just being able to listen and knowing that I can help.’
Both women believe that the beauty of their friendship was built in that unique understanding they share – of military life, of transition challenges, and of the balance between independence and connection.
‘We align in a few ways,’ Bek says. ‘She was in the Army. Her husband is a reservist in the Army…we obviously have a few touch points there.’
Finding the right environment
Although it’s a friendship that has already expanded beyond their connection through Soldier On’s activity calendar, Bek and Vashti emphasise that the environment Soldier On creates was key. For Vashti, the low-pressure nature of activities helped.
‘I didn’t want to be lonely, so I found that by doing these activities I was able to participate in a group setting but without having to talk,’ she says.
Bek agrees and says she has appreciated the ability to be part of a community while engaging at her own pace. Their friendship grew through these shared moments of participation and observation.
What started as a decision to reach out to the supportive community of Soldier On has resulted in an enduring friendship in the lives of both veterans.
‘Vashti was actually at my house for a cup of tea this morning. We probably catch up once a week now,’ Bek says.
‘It’s really special that I can find somebody that gets me,’ Vashti adds.
Through shared experience, empathy and mutual support, the bond they are happily nurturing is a reminder that leaving the Defence Force doesn’t have to mean leaving genuine connections behind. For Bek, it’s important that the social connection goes hand in hand with practical support and purpose.
‘There are supportive organisations and people out there, I encourage every veteran to engage with organisations like Soldier On. They provide opportunities that allow veterans to grow, connect and thrive; supporting each other on each person’s own
unique journey.’
Learn more about how to register as a participant and find a Soldier On social activity near you.
