Rory* is taking things at his own pace at the moment, that includes working through a virtual leadership course recommended to him by Soldier On – Eighth Mile Consulting. It is online, built around recorded modules, and Rory says he is close to the end.
‘I’ve got about four or five left… the last couple are very short.’
He works through it carefully now, aware of what he can take in and what he sometimes needs extra support and time with.
‘I just really need to protect my mental health and just keep my pace as slow as I can, just so I can absorb the information.’
There was a time when pacing himself wouldn’t have mattered. Now, it is key.
‘I get overwhelmed very easily with information nowadays,’ Rory says. ‘My capacity sort of dropped a bit.’
The course is part of the smaller, steadier world Rory is building as he focuses on his health, with support that he says is already making a positive difference.
During the past year, when his health declined to the point where he required hospital care, he emerged from that experience and realised there was nowhere stable to go.
‘I didn’t really have somewhere to stay while I worked on getting better.’
But with the help of Soldier On, Rory is now living in supported accommodation, where time is structured and the days are steadier, even if they are still not always easy.
‘I’ll be here for probably around another six months.’
He admits that the first months of this new reality were difficult to settle into.
‘I had a lot of issues,’ Rory says. ‘I was sceptical about everything and just struggling, really.’
That sense of strain reaches further back.
‘Complex PTSD started when I was really young, as a toddler.’
By the time he was a teenager, Rory says he had already begun to pull away from the world around him.
‘By the time I was a teenager, I was shutting myself off from the world and escaping. I did that by going into the world of the computer – played a lot of video games.’
Rory says those experiences don’t simply disappear. They shift, resurface, and sit alongside everything else as he works out what comes next.
He spent months applying for work, going to interviews, trying to find a way back into something resembling routine.
‘I had a lot of interviews… a lot of interviews.’
But getting through them was only part of it.
‘I couldn’t really get past them.’
Even when things appeared to be moving in the right direction, there was a sense that it might not hold.
‘Even when I was doing well, I realised… how is this actually going to look? Can I maintain this?’
Eventually, those questions settled and his focus narrowed.
‘Now I’m focusing on myself, my doctors, the support staff here… they’re all supporting me just to work on myself and pick myself up.’
The Eighth Mile Consulting course is part of that now too. It’s something contained that he can move through at his own pace, one module at a time, without pushing past what he can manage.
‘I’m just not rushing anything anymore,’ Rory says.
Learning from lived experience
There is still a sense of the potential that may come next, even if he says that he’s holding onto his goals for the future a little more lightly than he may have in the past.
‘I’m very aware now that I need to take one step at a time. I am starting to think about looking for my next accommodation, very slowly but surely.’
‘I want to be close to my son and wife… I want to be close to services. I need to be part of the community.’
And alongside all of that, something else is helping Rory see hope for the future.
He has completed Soldier On’s volunteer intake form a few months ago and is looking forward to the time that his own journey takes him closer to a place where he can share elements of his own lived experience to help others.
‘I’m very passionate about helping others – especially people who’ve come through the military. Anyone I can help, by sharing some of my own journey – I’d be really happy to.’
For now, that idea – that what he has been through could help someone else – is what keeps him moving forward.
One module at a time. One step at his own pace.
Soldier On’s Career and Education Support programs provides the support you need to build a meaningful civilian career after service. To learn more, visit: https://soldieron.org.au/supporting-you/employmen
If you need immediate or crisis support:
- Open Arms – 1800 011 046
- Lifeline – 13 11 14
- Beyond Blue – 1300 224 636
